Days of Our Knives
by Nanaki BH
Summary: Legato is ordered to bring Vash back to Knives' mansion. It turns into quite the bizarre adventure...
1. Jock Shock!

Disclaimer: Trigun and all related materials are properties of their respective owners.

Days of Our Knives  
By: Nanaki BH  
_With special thanks to Angel Zadiel…_

A peaceful breeze, an ice cream cone, children playing in the streets of May… Nothing could have been better that day for Vash the Stampede. He sat at one of the benches closest to the center fountain. He was comfortably kicked back, enjoying himself an extra large ice cream cone (that he had to swindle for, of course) and entertained himself by watching the little kids play ball.

Out of nowhere though…! Vash heard a voice… and it sounded oddly familiar. _"Vash the Stampede…"_ the voice implored. Vash looked around himself frantically, searching for the person who'd called his name, but he was astonished to find no one.

The children in the street stopped their games, taking notice of his urgency. "What is it, Vash?" one of the boys asked.

"N-nothing," he stammered, clutching his cone.

"_Vash," _the voice called again.

He sat dazed, still looking around. He stopped once he realized the voice's owner was none other than… "Legato?"

_"Vash… look next to you."_

"Holy Wolfwoods! How'd you get there!" Vash demanded. "No, no, forget that," he said quickly. "Aren't you supposed to be _dead?_"

Legato laughed almost uncharacteristically. "Oh Heavens no, Vash. I've been here the whole time behind you."

Vash scratched the back of his spiky head (though still mindful of his ice cream.) "For how long?" He had a really bad feeling about this. It wasn't every day that people pop up from the dead, you know.

"Since I died. Now listen, Master wants to see you."

"Who?" Vash asked, puzzled.

"You know _who_; _Him_.

"_God?_"

"No. Your brother."

"God is my brother!"

Legato smacked his forehead. He forcefully took Vash's ice cream and grabbed his other hand. "You're coming with me."

It wasn't long before they were outside the city and far, far away. Legato led Vash to a mansion all covered in gloom where he knew instantly he'd be in some trouble the moment he stepped inside. It was a lonely establishment, sitting by itself on a hillside. Even the trees surrounding it were dead and bare.

"You're looking at the trees, aren't you?" Legato inquired. "Don't worry; it's only from nuclear testing." Vash dared not to speak. Somehow Legato could read his mind so he didn't really feel the need as it was. "You're brother's right here in this building," he said once they reached the massive door.

"So… you're saying God's in that building?"

"No I am not."

"But you said just a few minutes ago that God was my brother, which I'm quite sure he isn't."

"That's because he _isn't_. God is you're 'Father'."

"I'm the Son of God!"

"Not like that."

"But you said," Vash tried pitifully.

"**Shut up.**"

Legato knocked on the door with what sounded suspiciously like "Mary Had a Little Lamb". To Vash's surprise, the door was answered by Midvalley. Also to his surprise, he was wearing… bunny pajamas. He guessed he couldn't blame him; after all, it was nighttime. Everybody likes to be comfortable when they go to sleep. "You're here to see Knives?" he asked them.

"Of course we are, Middy." Since when was Legato so… _familiar_ with Midvalley, Vash wondered. Midvalley gestured to the living room area and Legato nodded in appreciation.

There, in the center of the living room, with the television set close to his face sat Millions Knives, the man Vash feared the most. Everything about him seemed perfectly normal except the college football jacket. All Vash could see was the back of it that was embroidered with a menacing looking eagle. On the TV, the crowd was cheering. "Yes, they're tied!" Knives cheered. "Go team!"

"What's wrong with him?" Vash whispered to Legato.

He shook his head mournfully. "Steroids. It was the only thing left that could possibly give him the power he so desired… he just hasn't been himself since he started taking them."

Knives got even closer to the TV, if at all possible. The crowd at the game seemed to be getting even wilder. It must have been that "climax" part where everything falls into place. Vash listened closely to the announcer of the game. _"There they go! The Barracudas have taken the ball! This is a shocker! We wouldn't have expected this turn around in a million years… there they go… and there goes the game, folks! The Eagles have finally lost!"_

Knives looked utterly devastated. He hung his head and turned off the TV. "They… lost," he whimpered.

"Sir," Legato said calmly. "Your brother is here to see you."

"Who…? Oh, Vash." He laid himself down on the floor on his side, still not wanting to turn to face his brother. "Listen; come back in a little while, will you? Send him over to Middy for now or something. Just let me be alone."

Midvalley got the strangest smirk on his face. "I guess that means you're bunkin' with me tonight, kid," he said, putting an arm comfortably about Vash's shoulders.

Vash fidgeted.

"Well, I'm going to be in the basement," Legato said quickly, ducking out. "Have fun, Midvalley."

Middy laughed in what could only be described… as pure glee.

Author's Notes: Completely OOC, but I believe that's the whole idea. I hope you enjoyed that. This story is an entirely reworked version of an old one I made. I have the old chapters saved and hopefully I can rework them as well to bring back this ridiculous piece of fanfiction in all of its glorified horror. Review and tell me what you think!


	2. Middy's Room

Disclaimer: Trigun and all related materials are properties of their respective owners.

Days of Our Knives

By: Nanaki BH

_With special thanks to Angel Zadiel…_

"There's no fighting it, Vash… I know what you want."

Vash struggled feebly underneath Midvalley, ready to whip out "the big guns" if need be. That need seemed to be fast approaching. He flailed, finding it harder and harder to find a way out of this most uncomfortable situation. It soon seemed that he would only escape if he cooperated… or if he delivered a blow below the waistline, but Vash didn't want to fight dirty.

Midvalley finally moved in for the kill… he leaned forward romantically and before he could so much as kiss the air in front of his own face, Vash had his palms firmly placed on his chest, pushing him back. "You can't make me!" He wailed. There was no way he was going down without a fight!

"Sheesh," Midvalley huffed. "You're brother is so much more cooperative."

Vash stared at him, completely incredulous. "…_What?_"

"Well… most of the time I end up unconscious."

"You call that cooperative?

He grabbed Vash's arms at his chest and pinned them almost painfully at his sides. "He certainly didn't fight me as much as you do!"

Vash fought wildly, but quickly realized it just wasn't worth it anymore. "Fine, but if you don't let me go, I'm going to tell Wolfwood!" The comment delivered the response he wanted. Midvalley flinched away as if hit.

"No," he gasped in shock. "You wouldn't do that!"

Vash glared in evil satisfaction. He knew that now there was no way for Midvalley to crawl out of the grave he'd put him in. There came a knock at the door and Midvalley fell even deeper into devastation. He looked like he was going to cry.

Vash raised a curious eyebrow. "Who's at the door?"

"Hey, Middy! It's me; Wolfwood!"

"You've got to be kidding me," he sighed.

"I'm coming! Just a second!" Midvalley called hurriedly. Vash knew he was in for it as he was advanced upon again, this time being dragged by his feet off the large bed.

His head hit one of the bedposts with a painful thud. "What are you doing!" He should have known, as it was self explanatory as he found himself being shoved under the bed. "Hey!"

From his place under the bed, Vash watched as the door opened and Wolfwood was let inside. Though he knew Wolfwood was his friend, he got the feeling he should sit and watch things unfold for a bit longer. The two were mostly whispering to each other so it was hard to hear, but he understood what was going on. Midvalley didn't want him to come out and ruin his fun. Suddenly, footsteps were heard from the hall. Midvalley and his _secret lover_ parted quick, reluctantly letting their laced fingers slide apart.

Vash scoffed quietly to himself, disgusted easily by their signs of affection. The door was soon to open and in stepped their reason for separation. "Legato," Wolfwood quietly regarded him.

"Yes, hello, Legato," said Midvalley. "What are you doing here in my room _so late at night?_"

"You know why I'm here, Midvalley. You're hiding him, aren't you?" He tapped his foot softly on the wooden floor. Legato had little patience for Midvalley.

"Hiding who?" Wolfwood questioned; clueless.

"Vash," Legato said simply. "He's under the bed, isn't he?" Midvalley fidgeted uncomfortably. "I knew it." Legato knelt down near the bed's edge and looked under. He grinned and Midvalley, knowing that was his cue, fled the room immediately, dragging a startled Wolfwood behind him.

He helped him out then, generously patting the dust from his shoulders. "Sorry about that. Master's ready to see you now."

Author's Notes: My, this is an odd one. Well, there's definitely more of it… but I really want to write something else right now. Okay, so I'll put this one back for a while. Don't worry; it'll be updated soon enough.


	3. Sailor Moon!

Disclaimer: Trigun and all related materials are properties of their respective owners.

Days of Our Knives

By: Nanaki BH

_With special thanks to Angel Zadiel…_

"Vash," Knives said calmly. He sat with his hands folded politely in his lap, clad brilliantly in suit and tie. It was late; possibly even the middle of the night. He wasn't sure, but it felt like he'd just gone to sleep a little while ago. After having a rather intense dream, he found Legato and ordered him to bring Vash to him immediately. "I've brought you down here to tell you something." The fire in the hearth gave a pop and Vash jumped slightly in his seat across from his brother.

"W-what?" Vash stuttered.

"You see, I had this dream," he said, linking his ankles together casually. "In it, this little birdie told me what I've been doing wrong this whole time. He started from the beginning and worked his way up to present time and… I've seen all the havoc I'm wrecked and all the lives I've destroyed. I've become a monster, haven't I?" Vash nodded vigorously. "Aren't you proud! See, Vash, he told me the way to get you to join me…"

His brother sat back warily in his chair. "It doesn't matter. I'm still not joining you. Not in a million years would I!"

"That's where you're wrong. I need you now more than ever since the fall of the Gung-ho Guns. Who better to replace them than my own brother?" He sat proudly, arms crossed, but his face fell seeing the distressed expression of his brother. "Wait; that was your doing _wasn't_ it?"

Vash tried not to panic but his face expressed his guilt. "You're the crazy bastard who sent them after me in the first place!" he cried.

"But I didn't tell you _to kill them!_"

"Then what would I have done?" Vash asked. "Let them kill me?"

Knives smirked deviously. "That was the initial hope. Since it seems you're still alive and well though, that's a different story."

Vash stood up from his chair, nearly knocking it down in his haste. "I'm going back to my room." Quickly remembering whose room "his" room really belonged to, Vash bit his tongue. "Forget it," he said, "I'm leaving." He stormed away, leaving Knives and a smug looking Legato behind.

"He'll be back," Legato said. "Oh, he'll be back."

---

The next day, Vash did something that no one would have expected: he brought a girl home. Not just any girl though. It was Jessica, the girl who'd fawned over the spiky haired idiot her whole life. Why someone would even have a crush on Vash was a mystery to the residents of the mansion, but this girl had it for him worse than any of them had every seen. She'd even refused Midvalley in favor of Vash!

Knives, upon seeing the girl, grabbed Vash by the arm and dragged him aside to speak with him. "Vash, is that who I think it is?" he asked. He seemed more than curious; distraught, perhaps.

Vash raised a perplexed eyebrow. "I don't think you'd know her. She's a person from my past, I guess you could say… she followed me back here. Actually, it was more like she _chased_ me here. I was just trying to get away from her. I picked a direction and ran." He shrugged, laughing nervously. "Sorry."

His brother glanced at Jessica out of the corner of his eye. "She just… reminds me of someone."

"Who?" Vash asked.

Knives took a deep breath; the expression he wore could only be described as fear. "Sailor Moon: the Sailor Scout of love and justice. I mean, look at the outfit she's wearing!" Indeed, the outfit Jessica had put together rather resembled one a Sailor Scout would wear; what, with the frilly edges and hearts and all.

Laughing, Vash flailed a hand at him to calm him down. "What are you talking about, Knives?"

Jessica huffed beside them. "I don't like being ignored, you know! That's so mean of you, Vash! I mean, we haven't seen each other in so long… It hurts!"

Knives winced. "She's loud too," he said to himself. "By any chance," he asked her, "are you Sailor Moon?"

She folded her arms over her chest, pouting childishly. "No," she said, "but I wish."

He sighed in relief. "Good, I was worried that you were–"

"I'm Sailor Jessica: defender of love and peace!"

Knives paled. He backed up, almost tripping over everything as he made his way backwards into the kitchen. Vash and Jessica exchanged confused glances and stared at the door through which Knives had just left. In a few more moments Legato walked out shaking his head.

"What's eating him?" Jessica asked him.

Legato laughed evilly. "All of humanity, my dear."

"I'll just go see what he's doing," Vash said apologetically. "I'm sure he's fine. He's just not good with strangers. He's always been that way, you know." Legato looked at him oddly. "What? He has." With that he left, entering the kitchen to console his brother. After searching the kitchen two times over, Vash finally found his brother curled up in the corner next to the refrigerator having a conniption fit.

"How could you do this to me?" he wailed. "I thought you loved me!"

"What? No! I mean, yes! …No!" Vash shook his head. "Knives, listen," he said, placing his hands reassuringly on his shoulders. "It's okay. She'll be gone in a matter of days, I'm sure. Eventually she'll realize just how strange I am, you know?"

"_Days!_ But, Vash!" he cried. "She's blonde! She won't realize _anything!_ You've got to get rid of her now before…! Before I have a breakdown!"

_Like that hasn't already happened,_ Vash thought bitterly. "Fine. Just… let me get her a drink or something and then I'll send her on her way. She should trust me, okay?" He stood, pushing himself up from his place on the floor. _There's hardly anything in here,_ he thought to himself as he rummaged through the fridge. "Well, this looks good," he said, taking out a tall glass of carbonated beverage. He knelt down in front of Knives, gave him a final nod, and left him alone in the kitchen.

Jessica rushed to Vash's side. "How is he?"

Legato laughed somewhat frighteningly. "I bet he's sitting on the floor going out of his mind. He's like that."

Vash sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. "He's fine… but he doesn't really want you around, Jessica. I don't get him. Maybe you can leave for now and come back when I have things sorted out with him. But here;" he said, handing her the drink, "take this for now. The heat out there's a killer."

"Yes, a real _killer_," Legato laughed.

She downed the drink as soon as she got it. "Wow! This stuff is really good!" And almost as soon as it had been said, she fell; seemingly completely unconscious.

"What happened?" Vash cried in shock, fear, and horror.

Legato paled. "What side of the refrigerator did you get that drink from?"

"The left… why?"

"She's dead."

Author's Notes: Well, that was beautiful. In the original it really _was_ Sailor Moon though. I didn't want this to be a crossover like that apparently was, so I decided to change Sailor Moon to Jessica – who wanted to be Sailor Moon anyway. I hope that you enjoyed this installation. I'll be back with more.


	4. Placing Blame

Disclaimer: Trigun and all related materials are properties of their respective owners.

Days of Our Knives  
By: Nanaki BH  
_With special thanks to Angel Zadiel…_

"You can't even begin to understand how relieved I am that Sailor Moon's gone," Knives said, relaxing in his favorite chair near the fireplace.

Vash stared at him incredulously. "She wasn't Sailor Moon. You _do_ know that, right?" he waited for a moment but got no reaction from Knives. He sat there calmly, staring at him though bored. "Christ, Knives! She told you!" He cried.

Knives simply shrugged. He stared back at Vash, getting the feeling he was supposed to say something… but he didn't. Casually, he waved a hand at Legato. "Legato, my most favorite minion in the whole wide world, would you please bring us some drinks?"

His _favorite minion_ grinned and bowed to his master. "Yes, sir." When he passed Vash he made a point to bump shoulders with him. A cold chill ran up The Stampede's spine. Why did he get the feeling Legato had something in store for him?

"Knives," he said softly. "I think I was really in love with her deep down…"

"Sure you were," his brother said snidely.

He gaped, eyebrows knitting together almost angrily. "I'm serious! How could you say something like that? Deep down somewhere, I think I had feelings for her, you know? It would have been just a matter of time before I told her how I felt…"

His brother rested an elbow on the arm of the chair, placing his chin in his palm tired. "Sure, sure. Let me tell you what I tell all of my minions: I am always right; so listen. _You weren't in love with her_. Nor would you ever have been." Vash stared blankly at him for a moment, digesting the distasteful words his brother had for him.

"Yeah," he said, "maybe your right."

Knives grinned like the Cheshire. "Of course I'm right." He leaned back in his chair, sinking down a little bit so he could cross his arms comfortably over his chest.

"Wait," Vash said, as if he'd remembered something. Hell, a light bulb practically went on over his head.

Knives winced, covering his eyes. "Too bright!" he cried. "What'd you think of _now?_"

"You… you told Legato to get us drinks!"

"And he's probably getting them ready right now," he said.

Growling, Vash turned his back on his brother. "That's not what I mean. I'm not saying that _he's taking too long_… though he is…" He whipped back around, pointing an accusing finger at the kitchen door. "Those drinks killed Sailor – _Jessica!_"

"Hey, I didn't give it to her," he said, chewing on his lip with lowered eyes.

Soon, Legato came back to the room, balancing three tall glasses in his hands. He stopped momentarily to assess the two brothers. "Did I miss something?" he asked innocently.

Vash glared at him hotly, resisting the urge to hurt somebody. "How can you even drink that stuff?"

He shrugged, taking a sip of his own drink. "I don't. That was an experiment. I give _those_ drinks to the girl scouts."

Author's Notes: The original chapter was a lot shorter and made little sense. This one sets you up for "girl scouting" at least.


	5. Gloom Kitty

Disclaimer: Trigun and all related materials are properties of their respective owners.

Days of Our Knives  
By: Nanaki BH

Legato sat at the kitchen table, kuroneko in his lap, happily eating cake with a spoon. Knives sat adjacent to him, eating his own breakfast and reading the news. Occasionally he would hear the cat meow and he would look up, feeling like he should expect… something. It was odd. The cat's mews sounded louder than they should in the quiet room. Maybe it was just starting to get to him. Then, after listening to the cat's incessant meowing for what felt like an unbearable eternity, he threw down his paper and stared directly at Legato.

Feeling his master's displeasure, he looked up at him questioningly. Knives gritted his teeth, glaring seething anger at his minion. "Can't you see? I'm trying to read, Legato," he said through clenched teeth. "Tell your cat to be quiet."

His blue haired companion scoffed, pushing himself away from the table to stand. "Specist!" he cried, slamming his hands on the table. The glasses and dishes on the table jumped in fear. The cat leapt from his lap, its feet landing safely on the cold floor. "The cat has something to say and you tell it to shut up!" He huffed, turning his back of Knives. "We're leaving."

Knives couldn't help feeling somewhat awkward after Legato's outburst. _Specist?__Was that even a word_? he wondered. He looked down at the paper on the table then with little interest. In fact, he'd completely forgotten what he had been reading about. Slowly, he stood from the table; still feeling strangely uncomfortable with the whole situation… or maybe he felt _bad_; a feeling unfamiliar to Knives. Either way, he wasn't quite sure what he was feeling anyway. He decided it was best to follow Legato to find out what was troubling him.

He stopped in the doorway to the living room when he heard the cat's meow again. His instincts told him to keep low and listen. Knives did just that, crouching by the kitchen door, listening to the two of them "talk".

"Never again will Vash the Stampede bother you," he heard Legato say comfortingly.

The cat meowed.

"It is quite unfortunate how you run into him all the time; I understand."

The cat, this time, gave a long, almost mournful cry.

"Yes, yes," he assured the cat, "there's nothing to be afraid of."

The black cat was silent then. The more time passed, the more nervous Knives became. There was something peculiar about Legato talking to a cat. He was aware that Legato was telepathic but he never knew that he could delve into the minds of animals. He sat there quietly, making sure (just in case) that he would not be seen.

Finally he heard the cat meow again. It sounded sly; daring. He wondered what it could be talking about. Legato must have understood.

Legato laughed. To Knives's surprise it sounded playful. "Yes, I know," he told the cat.

Knives pressed his face up against the door, confident that they would not hear him. When he realized it wasn't enhancing his hearing much, he stood to grab one of the empty glasses from the table. He returned to his place on the floor quickly, placing the glass up against the door so he could listen to the other end. It was decidedly much better.

"Oh," his minion drawled… _luxuriously._ That was beyond surprising. "I love that," he heard him say. At this point Knives was beyond skeptical of their activities. Whatever that cat was saying was invoking strange responses from his faithful subordinate. Never had he heard those kinds of things from him… _I am _not_ jealous_, he thought to himself embarrassedly. _I am not!_

"Oh, but I could never do that sort of thing. You of all people should understand the way that Master feels about that. I mean, after all, I haven't done that in _years._ Sure, I like to talk about it but it's never something that I would…" The cat gave a very throaty purr. "No! I'm serious. He would never look at me again if he found out."

If he found out about _what_? The question was an obvious one and it nagged at Knives' brain, teasing him. Knives put a hand to his forehead, consoling his abused brain. The sort of things he imagined were neither pleasant nor… pleasant. What sort of things could he possibly be trying to do with that cat? Or rather, what was the cat trying to talk him into doing? For that matter, how was it even possible for a cat to have such conscious, concise thoughts? That was one he would have to ask Legato another time but he was dying to find out what his furry friend was trying to persuade him into doing.

After all, it must've been pretty bad if it would make him never look at Legato again. But he had a special place for Legato in his heart. He was his most beloved minion.

Lost in his overly dramatic thinking, Knives ended up leaning in a little _too_ close to the door and collapsed against it, the door flying open, Knives falling into the room with Legato and kuro neko.

"It's not what it looks like!" Knives desperately tried to defend himself.

"SPY!" the cat yelled, pointing a very sharp kitty finger at Knives.

Shocked, Knives just sat there for a second or two.

"…WHAT?"

Author's Notes: Ah, talking cats… classic. Girl scouting never happened but I think it will pretty soon, actually. I made this chapter about a year ago but never finished it. I just found it and since I still liked the story enough, decided to give it another try. So there you go. I hope you enjoyed it! Feedback is appreciated!


	6. Scouting Girls

Disclaimer: _Trigun_ and all related materials are properties of their respective owners.

Days of Our Knives  
By: Nanaki BH

The doorbell rang and kuro neko leaped from Legato's lap to the floor. Knives sat reading the paper, still feeling extremely unsettled after the previous day's events. After everything that had been happening – first a dead senshi and then a talking cat – he hoped with all his might that nothing else so strange would be happening when Legato opened the door. The last thing Knives' nerves needed were more surprises.

He glanced up when he realized Legato hadn't answered the door yet. He stood in front of them, arms slack at his sides, just listening as the doorbell rang again and again.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" Knives asked, turning the page so he didn't look like he was paying too much attention to him.

"Not yet. You have to make them want it."

_"Want what?"_ Knives wondered blandly.

Once the ringing seemed to cease, Legato sighed and opened the doors at last. Knives peeked out from behind the sports page and blinked at their visitors. In the doorway stood two young girls, at least of junior high age. Both wore adorable plaid skirts, high socks, and white cuffed blouses, neatly pressed by their mommies. If that didn't make it obvious enough who they were, they had on brown sashes with buttons of bright colors and different symbols proudly pinned to them.

Girl scouts.

Prime target number one.

Knives folded his paper, far too amused already to let this opportunity to watch pass him by. Legato looked down at the two with what seemed to be moderate disinterest. _"Is this what he meant by 'make them want it'?"_ The girls' smiles faltered somewhat but they resumed their perky personalities in seconds flat. The one on the right with brown pigtails held up a box nervously. Her shaking hands gave her away.

"Mister," she started, seeming too intimidated to look Legato directly in the eyes, "would you like to buy some girl scout cookies?"

He seemed to start at the mere mention of the word "girl scout" but he kept himself still. Like a lion, Knives could tell that Legato was already ready to pounce. He had his prey all lined up for him already and it was just a matter of the taking. Keeping with his gaze of little interest, Legato looked to an imaginary point somewhere over his shoulder that seemed to be much more interesting than the girls and spoke.

"Nope. I'm on a diet."

Knives resisted the urge to burst out laughing. He couldn't remember ever hearing Legato say the word "diet" in his life.

"But... these are low in calories!" the other one said, trying to be convincing.

"No they aren't. Each cookie has over two hundred calories," he replied.

_"...Is he for real?"_

The pigtailed one sputtered, crestfallen after looking at the nutritional facts to find Legato to be depressingly correct.

"Well... They taste great!"

Legato finally looked back at the girls and Knives cringed inside, sure that Legato was thinking that the girls looked to be much more delicious than the cookies themselves. Legato eyed the box she held and gave in with a sigh, letting his shoulders finally slump from their tense position. Of course, that was still part of his act, Knives was sure.

Crossing his arms, Legato tapped his foot. "How much are they?"

"Only three dollars! All proceeds go to the girl scouts to keep them learning the safe way to have fun!"

_"Safe way...? Did they never teach them about bad men who want to capture them and do strange things to them in their basements?"_

It must have been all it took for Legato to resist them. "I don't have my money on me. How about you girls step in for a second?"

They looked at each other and then took a look inside, taking in the strange décor of the house. "Y-Yeah, sure," they said together hesitantly. The first step they took together into the house was as if they thought they were stepping into lava. Knives couldn't blame them. When a man with blue hair and a skull on his arm answers the door to a house, you can't expect his house to be very pleasant either.

"Hey girls," Knives said, flashing them an innocent smile. "Better watch yourselves."

"What was that?"

"I said 'nice weather we're having'."

Right when the one was about to say something, Legato looked back at them with a cold stare, effectively stopping them from making any comments.

"Sorry, girls, he's a little strange," Legato apologized.

_"You're the strange one!"_ Knives silently pitied the girls and their mothers who foolishly allowed them to become girl scouts.

Assuming a very curious expression, Legato rubbed his chin. "I think I left my wallet in the basement. Ah. Yes, that must be where." When he looked back at the girls, his expression was one of sunshine and rainbows. Puppies and kittens could choke on the sparkles he radiated. "How about you come with me to save me the trouble of having to come back up?"

His suddenly shining personality seemed to put them off more than reassure them. They gripped their cookie boxes tightly and tried to smile back. "Y-yeah, sure. Why not."

Legato led them away to the hall. Knives heard the steel doors close behind them and that was the last he saw of them.

"I don't know how he does it," he muttered to himself, opening the paper. "Works every time."

Author's Note: ...It seems as if I haven't written a chapter to this in nearly two years. W-what? Well, here's a new chapter! Hopefully I'll get another one up soon? I really love this story. I realize what little sense it makes as far as the setting and some characterization goes (especially since I haven't watched or read Trigun in ages) but it just seems to work and be so hilarious to me, no matter how old it gets. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It was fun to finally write the girl scout chapter I had been meaning to do.


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